But what can I do????
(I was all ready to publish a different post...one about the kids. But in the end I needed to type this today.)
(Yup, I did just use the word "sucks." I don't usually, but it's the strongest word I can think of using that will convey my feelings, yet not be completely inappropriate or offensive.)
I could keep going, but I feel like that about sums it up.
Cancer hits hard, and it seems like it's hit hard around me a lot recently.
It makes me mad. I want to do something about it.
A year or so ago I was asked to complete the statement, "If I could ________, I would."
The only way I could think of completing that phrase was "If I could cure cancer, I would." But then, what's stopping me? If I really feel that strongly about it, why don't I enroll at the U, take a bunch of classes, and figure out how to cure cancer?
I can't. I know that God has not given me a passion or ability for lab sciences. I think it would be silly for me to try.
But then, WHAT CAN I DO??? Really?
How do I fight the fact that right now a very sweet friend is fighting again, and though she desperately wants to have kids, she can't start for another five years after she beats it this time? How do I fight the fact that my mom's friend just found out she's very sick? How do I do something to honor the fact that my sister-in-law is fighting and winning?
How do I rage against the fact that so many people fight and lose?
I don't know.
But I am going to tell you something that's been bouncing around in my head. I keep telling it to stop, but it won't.
I want to enter a race with the purpose of raising money for cancer research.
I can't be a lab scientist.
But I can raise money to help support lab scientists, right?
I want to fight.
I want to give a purpose to my running.
I want to run a long race. I want to physically have to fight hard to make my effort worth something.
I do not want to run 26.2 miles.
But I think I might like to try 13.1.
I found a program through the American Cancer Society that seems like it might be a good fit. I haven't done a ton of research, but maybe...
This will not be today or tomorrow, it's something I need to work a lot on endurance-wise, but maybe in a year or two?
Yes, I know it sounds crazy.
But cancer sucks.
And I want to do something about it.
(So there you have it.)